Barenaked lady (ok barely naked) and can barely bear it cos baring all is beary triggering for my eating disorder

I don't know why the Bear thing started but basically this is a newsletter about the boudoir photoshoot I did and how it relates to eating disorder recovery/internalized misogyny/healing sexual trauma

Photo by Luis Tosta on Unsplash

CW: Mentions of eating disorders and sexual trauma

Before we start, I just want to point out that there are some sensitive topics in this newsletter that are NOT FUNNY. If you are not in a place in your recovery where humor feels safe, please know it’s ok to move right along and not read this.

I’ve been in therapy and recovery for over 18 years, and have found myself in a place where humor is allowing me to look at myself through a lighter lens, which has been incredibly healing.

Laughing at the absurdity of the world and a society that have shaped the majority of my illnesses allows me to let go of the anger and direct my energy where it belongs—making other people feel less alone.

Advocacy and policy change MATTER, and, I have come to terms with my strengths in this massive effort to change the mental health arena: storytelling and connecting. Others in this fight are coming to battle with their strengths, too: education, providing therapy, politics, advocacy, activism, studying…and so much more.

All this is to say, I am here to share stories. I hope you’re here to read them. And together, I hope we can settle into our humanity and know that we’re not alone.

Welcome to Week 6, Season Three of “The Messy Middle.”

This season is all about showing up authentically. If you’re just joining us, feel free to head back to week one and start there.

If you’re like me and don’t care to start at the beginning ever anywhere, then you’re in the right place!

Nothing about my newsletter is inherently chronological nor does it build upon previous weeks, so you won’t really miss much if you don’t go back. You MIGHT get some added context and MAYBE if my writing is good enough find a story that resonates (or that you hate, but wouldn’t both mean I’m evoking an emotion? Maybe. That’s what my therapist tells me.)

If you’re NOT a paid subscriber, I hate to be the bearer of bad bear news but this bear-y heart-and-soul-bearing newsletter is for paid subscri-bears only 🐻.

Maybe if enough bears decide to subscribe to my Substack I can afford a therapist who doesn’t just tell me everything I do is ok (just kidding, she doesn’t do that, she’s very mean and tells me how horrible I am (just kidding kidding, she’s a really good therapist but I really can’t afford her so it would be amazing for me and the people I might harm if I don’t stay well if you subscribed)).

Bears pay $5 in honey pots per month—so not too much honey, not too little honey, just right honey.

Middle honey.

Middle+honey=money.

Ok, let’s dive in.

Guess who had a half-naked photoshoot, is recovering from an eating disorder, and didn’t restrict or diet leading up to the shoot?

THIS GUY!