Gently bringing back gratitude
And hopefully joy will follow suit
If you’ve been reading my recent posts, you’ll know that I’m returning to therapy to work through some new barriers (and old).
Something I’ve noticed in the last several weeks are a resurgence of the “I’m not doing enough” thoughts and “I don’t have enough” narrative.
Usually, these thoughts arise when I have lost track of what’s going well. One thing goes wrong: I get rejected in dating, make a mistake, hurt someone’s feelings, lose a job proposal, etc, and a small little seed gets planted that things are going wrong.
From here I have several options: acknowledge the loss or challenge and feel associated emotions and move forward; fixate on the presenting problem and get stuck on trying to solve or change it; rectify the problem pragmatically and learn from my mistakes; ignore my feelings and begin a cycle of emotional suppression; use the negative experience as evidence everything falls apart; process the pain and remind myself of all that’s good; etc.
There are infinite ways to cope with life’s unexpected and often undesirable moments, and we don’t always get it right (at least I don’t).
Lately, I’ve found myself suppressing emotions, attaching to negative experiences, and ruminating on what’s not going well.
This is usually a sign it’s time to return to my practice of gratitude, so as I do, I thought I’d share it with you in case you find it helpful. Keep reading below for some tips on how to practice :)
Looking for more in-depth guidance? Try my 90-day Self-Healer’s Journal, which includes daily gratitude, affirmations, and more!
How to Practice Gratitude:
Gratitude is the act of appreciating and being thankful for what we already have in life.
By focusing on what we already have, experience, or know, we cultivate a deeper connection to what is already within our grasp, rather than reaching for or longing for what we don't have.
Focusing on what is gives us a sense of peace, contentment, and joy.
Focusing on what is not gives us a sense of anxiety, despair, and hopelessness.
Gratitude is shown to:
Increase joy
Improve relationships
Increase patience
Improve sleep
Decreases depression
Increase endurance
The best way to practice is through journaling. I like to use specific prompts or categories to help jumpstart my brain rather than raw-dogging a random list of gratitude (but if random is your jamdom, then go for it baby).
Some examples of prompts I’ll use in my journal include:
Gratitude for How I’ve Grown:
Write three gratitude statements about ways in which you have grown over the last year, and why you are grateful for that growth.
Gratitude for Friends (online counts!):
Write gratitude statements for three different friends, and why you are grateful for them over this past year.
Gratitude for Passion:
Write three gratitude statements what you are passionate about,interested in, or have a hobby for.
You can also choose to focus on one category per day, or each day write one thing you’re grateful for from the same 5 categories.
Again, if you’re looking for more guidance, I highly recommend my Self-Healer’s Journal! It has specific prompts daily for gratitude that rotate daily for 90 days, so all you have to do is open the book and answer the prompts! Click the button below to learn more about the journal :)
I’d love to know what you’re grateful for today in the comments.
Feel free to share what you’re grateful for below so we can generate some joyful energy together :)
I for one am grateful for YOU.
I am grateful to know you are on the other end of this e-mail receiving me with kindness, putting in work to move through challenges you face alongside me, and embracing our humanity and the mess of it all together.
All my love,
XX
-RACH
Rachel Havekost is the bestselling author of “Where the River Flows,” “Write to Heal,” and “The Inner Child Journal.” Rachel has single-handedly built an online social media presence with a combined 300k+ individuals devoted to de-stigmatizing mental health. She uses her writing and social platforms to share her wisdom and experience from 19 years of therapy for her eating disorder recovery, suicidal depression, anxiety, trauma, and divorce.
To read the full story of my eating disorder and experience with depression, anxiety, and divorce, read my memoir “Where the River Flows.”
For more written work, guided journals, and education, head to www.rachelhavekost.com