How dog mom-hood is revealing my character flaws

Lessons learned from my 6 month mini golden-doodle, Milo, who is teaching me about patience, consistency, and showing up.

Milo’s personality is blossoming.

He’s quirky, independent, and slightly stubborn. He’s wicked smart, and has quickly assessed when mom’s treats are lures to put him in his crate.

"Mom, I know when I go in there you leave. And I simply won’t have that.”

Our first few weeks together we tested the waters. He was quiet and shy. Attached to my hip. Snuggly and often unsure of where we were going, and when. I was learning what kind of mom I was: how would I respond when he didn’t understand a command, where were my limits with my patience, and would I be able to get through the agony of hearing him cry the first few times he slept in his crate?

Milo is teaching me a thousand things every day. Here are a few of those things.

My ex husband was right. I put work first.

When we were in couples therapy, Josh told me he felt neglected.

Read more about my divorce in my memoir, Where the River Flows.

“You don’t pay attention to me anymore. I feel like all you do is work. I come in the door and you don’t even look up from your laptop. It makes me feel like you don’t like me.”

At the time I was defensive. Neither of us had jobs and we had just moved into his brother’s basement after traveling for a year, so we had no savings either. I’m working so we can have a life, why aren’t you doing the same?

Years after we got divorced, I called him to apologize.

“You were right. I did put work first. I was stressed about money and prioritized my income. I realize now you should have been my priority. You were—but I wasn’t acting like it. Nothing should have ever been more important than our marriage. Especially when it was crumbling.”