Monday Check-In
January 6, 2025
The new year has rolled in (yes, I know it’s been a whole six days, but I kid you not the last three weeks have felt like one singular day).
As December came to a close, I found myself doing a lot of reflecting (feeling sorry for myself/panicking about money/not feeling good enough). I also avoided falling into the resolution roulette and tried to remain present (dissociated/drank too much/pushed my feelings away).
Saturday night I fell asleep on the couch wrapped in my best friend’s arms.
He held me and said, “Rachel, I can feel that you need to cry. It’s ok. Let it out.” And I did. I wept—I cried out the grief from the year passed. I cried out the fear for the unknown to come. I cried out the rage from all the times I’ve felt not good enough in my life and for the ways I’d reinforced that belief by sabotaging or getting in my own way. I cried until there was nothing left, and fell asleep.
When I woke up I had a text from another best friend (I’m learning it’s ok to have more than one best friend—in fact, they’re all the best and why wouldn’t I name them all as such?). It said, “these are my goals for 2025.” They were simple, constructive, and unassuming. No giant dollar signs or outlandish volumes of miles to walk. Things like, “cook for myself more” and “prioritize my friendships.” Soft, tender, loving goals that reflected what she wanted MORE of in her life.
This inspired me to write a set of goals for myself. Something I haven’t done in a while, and something I avoid because I’m afraid it will trigger the rule-based symptoms of my eating disorder.
And, I know I can set goals while remaining flexible. I can choose goals that come from a place of loving myself, not from a place of hating myself. Goals that reflect what I want more of in my life.
One of those goals was to write you more. Yes, you.
I’ve had this Substack since 2023, and in the last year I’ve struggled to write. After a certain amount of time, I was simply out of practice and didn’t know what to write about. And, it is because of you that I have felt deep community, shared heartfelt stories, and learned what it means to be human.
My goal is to write you every Monday (with grace and flexibility) with a little check-in. Maybe share a story, maybe share a journaling prompt, maybe simply say “hi, you’re doing great.” My hope is that these check-ins bring you a sense of grounding and connection to begin the week, and that they become something to look forward to. A tether for both of us, a reminder we aren’t alone, and a moment of something real, simple, or at times terribly hard. But something, if not nothing, to share together.
So for today’s check-in, I’m going to ask you to reflect on some of your goals for 2025.
2025 Goals: More of this.
What is something you want more of in your life?
What is a quality about yourself you love that you want to embody more of?
What is a relationship you want to nurture?
What is a hobby you want to spend more time with?
How can you find more of what’s already good, and help it grow?
I’d love to read your goals in the comments.
Happy new year pretty humans, I’m grateful to see another year with you.