This homework assignment helped me work through sexual trauma

A simple writing exercise that surprised the hell out of me, and how you can re-write your own stories to heal, too.

Welcome to week six, season three of The Messy Middle.

This newsletter has mention of sexual trauma and eating disorders.

Please take care of yourself, and if you’re not in a headspace to read this today, that’s ok. You can always come back to it later. The exercise I did that birthed this discovery was powerful, and honestly I didn’t expect the outcome. I’ll share the exercise with you in the journaling prompts and tips at the end of the piece.

My final written assignment for my Spirituality and Addiction course in grad school was to re-write a memory or traumatic experience.

This summer I’m taking my last course in grad school (YAY!). My degree will be an interdisciplinary M.S. in psychology. This course was on "Spirituality and Addiction,” and a lot of my assignments have been based in journaling prompts and writing exercises from Andrew Steeds “Powering Up Our Life Stories.”

Our final assignment was to re-write a memory using the tools from his book—specifically, a negative memory or traumatic experience.

I’ve done a LOT of work in therapy, so this was hard because most of my negative memories/traumatic experiences have been re-written. (Part of this exercise was to reflect on the process, and I talk more about that challenge in the piece.)

This assignment surprised the HELL out of me. And I thought it might help one or more of you on your journey, too.

So for today’s newsletter, I’m going to share my story with you, plus the re-write and reflection. After I’ll provide you with the prompts/tools so that you might re-write a story of your own, and maybe feel the transformation I did, too.

If you’ve read my memoir, “Where the River Flows,” you’ll recognize Lyle’s name in this story. He was an integral part of my adolescence, and even though the story didn’t start with him, as I wrote the memory he naturally was a part of the story. I think this is what surprised me most—that in my apathy around “healing” and self-work these days, this exercise cracked something open in me that I did not expect needed witnessing.

This newsletter is for paid subscribers only. If you are someone who has struggled with sexual trauma, an eating disorder, grief, depression, or anxiety, I fully believe The Messy Middle will offer you a gentle, loving reminder that you are not alone. No matter where you are on your journey, my Substack aims to remind you that you are not a puzzle to be solved or problem to be fixed—you are a person. A living, breathing human. Not a before, not an after, just a beautiful, messy middle.

If you’re not sure a paid subscription ($5/month) is right for you, check out some of my free newsletters below to get a taste of The Messy Middle.

• How I’m Getting My Confidence Back: a story of reclaiming self in intimacy, building leadership gusto, and reconnecting to my body post ed-recovery

• Don’t Ask Me Why I’m Sad: an honest insight into my brain during a depressive episode, and how writing and poetry can pull us out

• The Missing Piece in Western Psychology: a story of how human connection helped me with eating disorder recovery and the grief of my divorce

• Shadow Work is Not Enough: lessons on collective healing, and how a hyper-focus on the “self” is not the most effective way to seek wellness