6 Surprising Things I Still Struggle With Despite 20 Years of Therapy

The 5th one is unnervingly honest, I really hope I don't regret sharing this.

Hi Pretty Humans,

If you’re new here, HI! I’m so glad you’re here. My name is Rachel, and I’ve been sharing my experiences with mental illness, grief, and life as a single 36-year old for the last five years. Ok, so I guess as a single 31-36 year old. At this point I just tell people I’m 29 because I really like to imagine Schmidt from “New Girl” saying “29” to pump me up.

Despite being in therapy for 20 years, I still struggle. A lot.

Not just with my mental health but with being a human, being a woman, being bisexual, being single, being in my 30s, being a friend, being an adult….the list goes on.

Below are 6 things I am currently struggling with that sometimes make me feel ashamed. I’m sharing them with you in the hopes that either

A) One person feels less alone reading them, or;

B) I can reduce the shame by saying it outloud.

1. Using substances to cope with big feelings/numb/avoid responsibility.

It’s like I think that partying is a symbol of youth and I abuse that narrative to reinforce a “live big while you can” mindset. There are so many other ways to “live big” and I don’t love how much I center going out as a way to feel alive.