Keeping the peace

It's ok to feel good sometimes.

I’m having one of those days where everything feels ok, and then I wonder if it’s because I’m not thinking so much. And is that ok?

These newsletters tend to breach the writing limit I’m allotted on Substack. I’m a longwinded writer. I thrive in paragraphs and feel constricted by twitter posts and quippy commentary. A skill I’m learning and hope to sharpen, but one I know feels foreign as of late.

(I remember telling my ex-husband this I was a longwinded writer and it made him grin from ear to ear. He was fairly longwinded himself, and over the years our love letters grew into chapters that eventually became the book of us falling in love. I wasn’t mad about the long-windedness and grew fond of the never-ending stack of yellow legal pads in my box of him.)

So on days like this, where I don’t have as much to say (or rather I’m not stuck in my head or feel the need to explain myself), I wonder, is it ok to say a little less? And does this mean I’m doing better, or am I fooling myself?

Welcome to week six, season one of The Messy Middle.

This season is all about presence. For first three months of 2023, we will embark on a journey together of embracing the present moment, slowing down, and finding focus.

Last week we shifted our focus from presence in body to presence in spirit. This week I’m noticing my own sense of calm sinking in, and for the first time in a while, I am not stuck in my own paralyzing anxiety. I feel a little at peace.

What’s messin’ around in today’s newsletter:

1. Allowing peace: When life feels ok, how can we let it feel ok?

2. Today’s Tip: I’ll offer a practical tool that you can start to apply this week.

3. Rach’s Reccs: A few resources for you to explore in your own time this week or for the duration of the season to supplement your learning and growth.

4. Journaling Prompt: Some questions to sit with the good feelings, if and when they rise.

   

Allowing Peace

I have, historically, destroyed my personal peace.

Life will start to feel good. Stable. Joyful, even. Sometimes its because I’ve been putting in the work to create that stability. Other times its because my life circumstances have opened doors to enhance my community or emotional wellbeing.

Regardless the reason, I would notice the stability or joy and do one of two things:

1) question the feeling and look for reasons I’ve fooled myself or things really are still bad, or

2) assume since everything is going well I can abandon my healthy practices that may be contributing to the peace in the first place.

I’m using the phrase “historically” rather than “I tend to” because I’m in a season of trying to be mindful of how my language creates my reality. If I say “I tend to” then I’m communicating to my subconscious this is a pattern that still exists. “Historically” creates an opportunity for me to be truthful about the past, and subconsciously create space for it to stay there.

So, in this era of presence, slowing down, and staying with the here and now, I’m hoping to try something different.