After getting divorced, I thought this day would never come.
Three years later, I finally, finally am here.
Welcome to week ten, season two of The Messy Middle.
Hi pretty humans! Today is the LAST week of season two before our Season Two Wrap-Up. For last season’s wrap-up, see the post below
Season two started on April 3, so if you’re just joining us feel free to go back to week one and begin there. To access all the newsletters you’ll need to be a paid subscriber — when you upgrade to a paid membership you’ll get access to monthly journaling prompts, weekly newsletters, community chat, and if you choose to be a founding member, a free copy of any of my books!
👇🏽 learn about the messy middle below👇🏽
A few BRIEF reminders before diving into the newsletter:
June Journaling Prompts are still live. This month’s prompts are all about gathering information and becoming an investigator of your life instead of impulse-decision-maker of your life.
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What’s messin’ around in today’s newsletter:
Last week I wrote about letting go of potential. Letting go of what it might mean to simply be instead of do. Wondering if it would be helpful, healthy, and wise for me to forget about who I could become, and instead settle into who I already am. Read below👇🏽
Today, I’ll be sharing how months of letting myself just be has finally allowed me to connect with what is: that for the first time in years, I feel…happy.
Allowing For Joy. After several years of relapse, grief, and depression, I feel a baseline joy and wellness I was not sure could be possible, and I’m also allowing myself to be in joy.
Today’s Tip: I’ll offer a tool that you can start to apply this week.
Rachel’s Recommendations: Podcasts, dance songs, and books that feel relevant to this week’s learning.
Journaling Prompts: Some questions I’m asking to help me find get curious about passive presence.
Allowing For Joy
Typically the Monday Messy includes a short story or reflection based on the theme, followed by tips, recommendations, and journaling prompts for you to chew on. Longer form stories are reserved for my “We Met in the Middle” series. Today I feel my storytelling cogs churning, so today’s newsletter will be a supplement to a “We Met in the Middle” post. I’ll share a brief review of the story here, but if you want to read it in full I’ve linked it below.
Surviving, stabilizing, and settling into joy as someone with a history of mental illness.
“You know babe, you’re the first friend I’ve ever had that I call for no reason.”
“Really?” she said exacerbated.
“Yeah, I just never talked to my friends or family unless we were making plans or saying happy birthday--it didn’t occur to me I could just…talk to the people I loved.”
Calling a friend for no reason may not seem like a big deal, but for me it is.
It’s part of a safety network that has taken years to build in which it’s ok for me to reach out on a spectrum of needs. Knowing I can call her for an aimless chat, a dating update, a hard cry, simple advice, or to process the unknown is a lifeline I’ve never had.
Calling her for no reason is an exercise in keeping that lifeline alive so that my subconscious continues to internalize the notion that I’m not alone.
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