1. What was the biggest challenge I faced in practicing presence? If I were to be completely honest with myself about this everything about being present was challenging as hell I sucked at it and I just couldn't do it and it made me angry and I felt like a failure.
2. Where did I feel resistance to getting present? Just trying to get my mind to focus and just not derail and dissociate and not be so negative when I struggled with trying to become present. My resistance was fear and uncertainty,shame and my damn self
3. What came easiest in my presence practice? Not a damn thing I feel like I just failed at it and that I just suck.
4. By becoming more present, what did I notice change in my life (good/bad/messy/all of it)? I wish becoming present was something that I could do but it seems like it's something that I struggle with.
5. How did finding presence improve my life, and how do I know it? It hasn't improved my life it actually made stuff a lil but more difficult.
6. If I could boil down the lessons learned into my top 3, what would they be? That I need to stop being so hard on myself, that I'm not a failure and that I'm a work in progress.
I am so grateful for your honesty. I can’t tell you how many times people answer public prompts like this and their success or joy makes me doubt my ability to exist. Your honesty--though painful to experience the truth of it--is a big fucking light. It gives all of us permission to breathe and go “ok if it was hard for someone else, then maybe I’m not a failure.”
Presence is hard AF. I also did not do all the activities or journaling prompts or recommendations I made, and often felt like a hypocrite for suggesting things I couldn’t always do myself. Your post reminds me that A) it’s ok not to do it all, B) honesty in others makes me feel less alone, and C) maybe this is a chance for me to reflect on how much I’m asking y’all to do.
I love that the lessons you learned are less about presence itself, and more about being hard on yourself and the experience of trying and how you treat yourself in the process. Sometimes what we learn isn’t about the information being presented--it’s the experience of relating to it. You’ve done just that.
This was an extremely difficult exercise. I have always found anything to do with mindfulness or staying present difficult. Being in the here and now is not something I want to do or something I like to do but I also know that its something I need to do. Sometimes the most uncomfortable or the most challenging things are the most rewarding and fulfilling things but also the scariest things in our lives. But for me being present brings up so many dark things and those dark things I just don't feel ready to conquer. It also took so much for me to being honest but ik that being honest is what I need to do not only for myself but for others because ik that there are others that are struggling with these same things. So Rachel keep on coming with these difficult exercises and even the gentle ones keep on challenging me I welcome them my soul welcomes them as difficult as it may be I need them. And when I can't do them I will say enough is enough and just like this one be honest and say fuck this this shit is hard and I can't do this and that is ok. Love you Rachel and thank you for everything that you do❤
1. What was the biggest challenge I faced in practicing presence? If I were to be completely honest with myself about this everything about being present was challenging as hell I sucked at it and I just couldn't do it and it made me angry and I felt like a failure.
2. Where did I feel resistance to getting present? Just trying to get my mind to focus and just not derail and dissociate and not be so negative when I struggled with trying to become present. My resistance was fear and uncertainty,shame and my damn self
3. What came easiest in my presence practice? Not a damn thing I feel like I just failed at it and that I just suck.
4. By becoming more present, what did I notice change in my life (good/bad/messy/all of it)? I wish becoming present was something that I could do but it seems like it's something that I struggle with.
5. How did finding presence improve my life, and how do I know it? It hasn't improved my life it actually made stuff a lil but more difficult.
6. If I could boil down the lessons learned into my top 3, what would they be? That I need to stop being so hard on myself, that I'm not a failure and that I'm a work in progress.
Ritz🫶🫂
I am so grateful for your honesty. I can’t tell you how many times people answer public prompts like this and their success or joy makes me doubt my ability to exist. Your honesty--though painful to experience the truth of it--is a big fucking light. It gives all of us permission to breathe and go “ok if it was hard for someone else, then maybe I’m not a failure.”
Presence is hard AF. I also did not do all the activities or journaling prompts or recommendations I made, and often felt like a hypocrite for suggesting things I couldn’t always do myself. Your post reminds me that A) it’s ok not to do it all, B) honesty in others makes me feel less alone, and C) maybe this is a chance for me to reflect on how much I’m asking y’all to do.
I love that the lessons you learned are less about presence itself, and more about being hard on yourself and the experience of trying and how you treat yourself in the process. Sometimes what we learn isn’t about the information being presented--it’s the experience of relating to it. You’ve done just that.
Big BIG hugs.
This was an extremely difficult exercise. I have always found anything to do with mindfulness or staying present difficult. Being in the here and now is not something I want to do or something I like to do but I also know that its something I need to do. Sometimes the most uncomfortable or the most challenging things are the most rewarding and fulfilling things but also the scariest things in our lives. But for me being present brings up so many dark things and those dark things I just don't feel ready to conquer. It also took so much for me to being honest but ik that being honest is what I need to do not only for myself but for others because ik that there are others that are struggling with these same things. So Rachel keep on coming with these difficult exercises and even the gentle ones keep on challenging me I welcome them my soul welcomes them as difficult as it may be I need them. And when I can't do them I will say enough is enough and just like this one be honest and say fuck this this shit is hard and I can't do this and that is ok. Love you Rachel and thank you for everything that you do❤